Amy's Weight Loss Journey

Weigh-In Feb. 13th

2012-02-13T14:49:00.000-08:00

Progress continues! I lost a little more than 3 lbs this week and I also lost 3 inches. I'm still very excited about my low-carb diet and it's been surprisingly easy to stay on it. The only time I've been tempted to jump off the wagon was today when I became too stressed. Yesterday on the way home from Granna's house our car (our only car) died on the drive home. Today we found out it's going to cost $1600 and a whole week to repair it. Then today my 6 year old had some dental work he had to be sedated for, and tomorrow I'm scheduled for a out-patient procedure myself. This all is happening 2 days before my husband and I are scheduled to leave for 5 days. So stress levels were up today and the apple crisp in my fridge started to seem more and more appealing. Funny how we have those triggers built into us, isn't it?

Valentine's Day is this week but there's a more important date for me this week. Wednesday is my 10th anniversary. My goal was to be under 200 lbs by my anniversary and I'm a little disappointed that I didn't make it but so excited that I found something that's working for me. I'm even more excited that when we get back my husband wants to go on this diet with me and train for a 5K in April. These kind of things are so much easier when someone is doing it with you.

So we're leaving on Wednesday and I can guarantee you that I will not be following my low-carb regimen this week. After all you only have a 10th anniversary once, right? So I'll be back to post and weigh in next Monday. Hopefully I won't gain too much but I plan to relax and have fun this week. Hope you all have a lovely Valentine's Day.

Spinach Quiche

2012-02-10T14:12:00.000-08:00

This has been my favorite low-carb recipe so far. It is rich and hearty and has so much flavor in it. Even my kids devour this. If you're not low-carbing you can switch the cream out for milk. Use any cheese you'd like, mozzarella would reduce the fat content if that's a concern for you. Pepper Jack would spice it up if you like a little heat.

Crustless Spinach Quiche

4 strips bacon
1/2 Cup green onion, chopped
6 1/2 Ounce-weights frozen chopped spinach
4 large eggs
1 Cup heavy cream
1 Cup cheddar cheese, shredded
1/4 Teaspoon salt
1/8 Teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/4 Teaspoon ground pepper
sprinkle of parmesan

Directions

Preheat oven to 350°F (175°C). Lightly grease a 9 inch pie pan.
Heat a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add bacon and cook until desired crispiness. Remove from pan and set aside. Add onions to hot pan and cook, stirring occasionally, until onions are soft. Stir in spinach and continue cooking until excess moisture has evaporated. Coarsely chop bacon.
In a large bowl, combine eggs, cream, cheese, bacon, salt, nutmeg and pepper. Add spinach mixture and stir to blend. Pour into prepared pie pan. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese if desired.
Bake in preheated oven until eggs have set, about 30 minutes. Let cool for 10 minutes before serving. The serving size in the recipe is 1/4 of the quiche, but my kids usually share that serving between all three of them. This is really good the next day too.

Let me know if you try it, and what you think.

Sugar Tolerance

2012-02-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

Today I had to do a glucose tolerance test. I'm sure a lot of the women here will understand what I'm talking about. You fast for 8 hours, then drink something that tastes similar to orange crush, then fast 2 more hours and have your blood drawn. I've had this test done 7 or 8 times in the last 10 years. It's never really bothered me, I drank my weird orange soda thing and moved on. No big deal.

But this time I have been off sugar for almost 2 weeks, and I'm used to eating every 3 hours or so. So I went to chug my orange glucose drink and almost gagged. It was so disgustingly sweet! Cloyingly so, like drinking straight syrup. That was the first moment I realized that this diet has changed my tastes. I got the whole drink down finally and within 10 minutes I had a raging headache, in a few more I felt dizzy and weak. I felt horrible! That is how I used to feel after I ate all the time, man I do not miss that feeling at all.

I read recently that people who try to quit smoking aren't afraid of never smoking again, they're really afraid of always wanting to smoke. Of never getting rid of the cravings. I totally understand that, it's how I felt when I used to diet. I could deny myself those foods I craved but I always craved them. That's what I am loving about this diet. I am never hungry anymore and I have literally no sugar cravings.

Anyway, hopefully my weight loss isn't de-railed this week by the sudden influx of carbs. I have just one week left until my anniversary and I would love to be under 210 for it! Check back on Friday for a delicious low-carb recipe.

Weigh-In Feb 6

2012-02-06T14:34:00.000-08:00

It's Monday again which means I have an appointment with my scale. But not just any scale, my brand new, shiny scale I got for my birthday. That's right I used my birthday money to buy myself a new scale that tracks weight loss and calculates body fat percentage. I know that makes me a little strange, but what are you going to do?

This morning, after one week on my low-carb regimen, I stepped onto my new shiny scale for the verdict. Last week I was 217.5 and this week I was 212.5! Five whole pounds this week. So happy! Not only did I lose 5 lbs this week but I re-measured myself this morning and I also lost almost 6 inches!

I'm loving this new diet. I almost never feel hungry anymore and I don't crave sugar at all. For the first time in years my blood sugar is stable, I don't have sugar crashes or the dizzy spells I had gotten used to. I'm eating more vegetables than I ever have before and food tastes so much better to me. Overall I'm just so happy that something is finally working for me.

I'm starting to think that I might actually get under 200 lbs again. Hopes been hard to come by the last couple of years where it came to my health. This week I'm also going in for testing to find the cause of our recurrent miscarriages. Wish me luck. And tune in later this week for some of the yummy recipes I've been making this week.

Cheesy Cauliflower Mash

2012-02-03T11:30:00.000-08:00

Let me start out by apologizing for the lack of post on Wednesday. Me and dental work to no mix well, especially without very strong pain meds. I'm starting to feel better now though so onward.

The low-carb diet is going great! I can't believe how easy it's been to stay on the plan. I've been eating very yummy food, I haven't been hungry in between meals, and my energy levels have been very high. I'm losing weight too, can't wait for weigh-in on Monday to see how much.

Until then let me share a super yummy recipe I made last night. (I really need to photograph my food, I'll try better this week). This is a recipe adapted from one on the Atkins website.

Cheesy Cauliflower Mash with Onions

2 c cauliflower florets
2 tbs EVOO
3/4 c chopped onion
2 tbs cream or milk
1 cup cheddar cheese
1 ts salt
1/2 t pepper

Steam or boil cauliflower florets until soft and then mash.
Saute onions in oil until opaque.
Combine cauliflower, onions, and cream or milk. Mix until well combined. I used a handblender to get is smoother like mashed potatoes. Salt and Pepper to taste, then add the cheese and stir til melted. Tip: If you use a sharper cheese you can use less and get the same flavor.

This makes 4 servings at 4 net carbs a serving. If you're not doing low-carb you can make it lower fat by using milk instead of cream and using less or low-fat cheese. This only took like 10 minutes to make.

Dental Day

2012-02-01T12:47:00.000-08:00

Sorry, I had a whole post planned about the wisdom (or lack thereof) to weighing yourself every day. But today I had a root canal and I'm feeling woozy and sore. So it will have to wait for Friday. So, do you weigh yourself every day, why or why not? I'll tell you my opinion on Friday.

Weigh-In Jan 30

2012-01-30T11:09:00.000-08:00

A new comic strip to commemorate the new decade in my life. :-)

Well, thanks to everyone who listened to my ranting on Friday. Everyone has their up days and their down days, and Friday was a big down day for me. It's important to me to keep this blog very real, I want everyone to see the successes and failures. That's how we learn. And I tend to process things out loud, so it was very cathartic. Now I'm doing much better. I took Friday off and spent the day at the museum with my kids, and spent Saturday looking at houses with my family. Saturday we had a birthday dinner with my husband's family (French Dip Sadnwhiches, sooo yummy!) and then a family dinner on Sunday with my family. Three days of no exercising, no dieting, and no worrying.

It was just what the doctor ordered. I woke up this morning refreshed and ready to go. I did my shred, ate breakfast, worked, school with the kids. A good morning. And not to shabby on the scale either. I was 217.5 this morning, only up half a pound from last week. Considering the number of birthday dinners I've had this week, that's pretty impressive.

I'm making a change to my diet this week, I've been focusing on eating whole foods and portion control. This week I'll be focusing on carbs. I've been slowly reducing my carbohydrate intake over the last 2 months. Being hypothyroid and PCOS there is a very good chance I am insulin-resistant and possibly pre-diabetic. Several doctors have suggested I go a low carb-high protein route to lose weight. So I'll be focusing on lean proteins and getting the majority of my carbs from lots and lots of vegetables this week. It's all trial and error to find what works for you. Are you not a fan of low-carb diets? Maybe you believe some of these common myths?

If anyone has any good low-carb recipes I'd love to see them. I'll be heading to the library myself this week to check out some cookbooks. Check back in Wednesday and drink your water.

Sackcloth and Ashes

2012-01-27T08:07:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to lie to you guys, I am thoroughly depressed today. Not because I'm 30 now, strangely enough that doesn't really bother me at all. I had a quiet birthday yesterday. Kids and I played games together, I worked out, then I made myself a nice birthday dinner. I chose to cook instead of going out so I wouldn't compromise my weight loss. My menu was chicken cordon bleu (the skinny version found here), homemade bruschetta (yummy), and a mixed green salad. Then instead of a traditional fat-laden birthday cake I made angel food cake with a pineapple topping. I was so proud of myself for sticking with my exercising and my healthy eating even on my birthday! Until I woke up this morning and found out that my birthday dinner had given me the gift of 4 lbs back! That's right I was 221 this morning. :head desk::head desk:head desk:

So now instead of being down 8 hard won lbs in 7 weeks, I am down 4. And then, riding on a wave of what must have been complete insanity, I decided to try on my anniversary dress. You know the one here, to see how it was fitting now after 7 weeks of exercise and healthy eating. Yeah, I couldn't even button it. Now feeling a little desperate to give some validation to all the hard work I pulled out my tape measure. I mean if you're not losing weight you're losing inches right? Isn't that what they say? All my measurements are exactly the same. :head wall: :head wall::head wall:

So now after all the hard work what can I say? At least I haven't gained weight?! It's moments like these that I want to punch the face of every doctor/trainer/nutritionist who've told me that losing weight is about burning more calories that you eat. Once again I defy the laws of the universe.

I'm so frustrated and angry and sad today so I'm taking the day off. I had a leftover chicken for breakfast and I didn't exercise. Instead I'm packing my kids up and heading to the children's museum. Going to spend time with people who just love me.

Come back Monday for weigh-in...it should be interesting.

Xena Warrior Princess/Limp Noodle

2012-01-25T08:39:00.000-08:00

Today is one day until my 30th birthday and 3 weeks until my 10th anniversary. I'm starting to feel a little old. Not old like in, "I'll never be in my 20's again" hysterical sobbing. But old like I should probably stop thinking about myself as a newlywed with young kids. The fact of the matter is that my oldest is turning 9 this year, I've been married for a third of my life, and I'm not a child anymore. Do you ever think about the generations shifting? Just a few short years ago I was the child, my parents were the adults, and their parents were the grandparents. Now my kids are the children, I'm the adult, and my parents are the grandchildren. Somehow I've shifted into the middle part of my life, and it feels strange. And good...in a strange way. How did you feel when you turned 30? Was it a hard transition for you?

I celebrated my newly found introspection by graduating myself to level 3 of my 30 Day Shred (read about it here). I have to admit I experienced a little trepidation as I pushed play. And I wasn't disappointed, after about 3 minutes (read: the warm-up) I contemplated going back to level 2 and staying there for 3 or 4 more months. Jillian Michael's is a CRAZY woman. But then half-way through walking push-ups I started to feel...strong. I felt this crazy compulsion come over me and I was grunting and sweating like a amazon. For 15 minutes I had this picture of me in my head like I was Xena Warrior Princess and I could do anything. I could feel my muscles moving and burning and it felt good. So now I'm thinking, heck yeah I can do this! Then I sat down to do the cool down at the end and suddenly I metamorphed from Xena into limp noodle Amy. Wow, 20 minutes later my legs are still shaking. I wonder if Amazon-Amy will come back tomorrow? (Wow that kind of sounds like a stripper name, doesn't it?)

Anyway, on that note. I promised you a progress picture today so I'll post one. It's not the best picture ever (note to self: have husband take pictures night before so 8 year old doesn't have to) and I don't see much change despite the fact that I've lost 8 lbs so far. But here it is:

What do you think? Can you see any change? What do you guys do that makes you feel like Xena (or Superman)? Go drink some water and come back Friday for another new recipe!

Weigh-In Jan 23

2012-01-23T09:29:00.000-08:00

Monday means I have a date with the scale. Monday also means, if you remember, that I take a small break from dieting and enjoy some less-healthy neaks. Which is why I'm typing around a bowl of spaghetti and garlic bread. And it tastes gooooood! I'm a firm believer in moderation in all things.

Anyway, as I wipe drool and spaghetti sauce off of my keyboard, this morning I got on my scale and saw the beautiful number 217.0! I wish I took a picture of it for you guys but I was too busy squealing like a teenage girl and dancing around my bathroom in my birthday suit. I wish I could take full credit the 2.5 lbs lost this week but in the interest of full disclosure I'll let you know that yesterday I had some kind of stomach bug and spent the first 2 hours of the day on my toilet. Still, it's the weight I am today so I'm celebrating 8 pounds lost! Woo-hoo! If I lose 2 lbs this coming week I'll have lost 10 lbs. So I have my eye on that goal this week.

It's a big week for me for another reason. Actually a couple of reasons. First tomorrow David and I are going to meet with a specialist to see if we can figure out why we keep miscarrying. I'd be lying if I said I was excited about it. Don't get me wrong, I definitely want more children but this feels like I'm admitting that I'm broken somehow. It seems like this is the sort of thing you should be able to do with just your husband and not with 3 or 4 PHD's, you know? Anyway, that's tomorrow. Then on Thursday it is my birthday! And not just any birthday, it's the big 3-0! I thought I'd be upset about it but surprisingly I'm looking forward to it. I feel like my 30's are going to be so much more productive and happier then my 20's have been. I feel like I have a better idea of who I am and where I'm going and what I want to be.

So come back Wednesday, I'll be posting a progress picture and I'll also be moving to the 3rd level of my 30 day Shred. I'm sure that will be an entertaining post. Go drink some water!

The Cost of Eating Out

2012-01-20T10:45:00.000-08:00

Our family resolution for 2011 was to not eat at McDonalds for one whole year, after seeing how much money and calories we had spent there in 2010. I was so proud of my children for rallying around the goal and refusing to eat there, even when mommy wasn't around to enforce it. When 2012 rolled around a couple weeks ago and our resolution was officially over I found myself reluctant to go back there. However when I was grocery shopping this week and was surrounded by three whining, hungry children I got desperate and sent my husband and them off to the golden arches with $15 in hand. Then I enjoyed 45 minutes of blissful solo grocery shopping. Ahhhhh.

When we met back up my husband gave me $5 back. I was thinking to myself that $10 to feed 4 people was pretty good, when my husband asked me how much our dinner the previous night had cost. We had made Roasted Honey-Orange Chicken with roasted potatoes and butternut squash. A whole roaster chicken cost us $4, a bag of potatoes cost us $2 (of which we only used 4 potatoes), and the squash had cost us $2. Other ingredients (honey, cumin, EVOO, salt, and pepper) we had in our pantry. I estimated that the meal had cost us about $6, had fed 5 of us, and then we had leftovers for lunch for me and David for 2 days. All of the sudden the $10 we had given McDonalds wasn't looking so good.

One of the most common excuses for not eating healthy is that was can't afford it (I know, I've used this one myself). I think the real reason is we can't afford to eat healthy AND unhealthy at the same time. We can't afford a bag of apples, if we also buy a $4 bag of chips. We can't afford to buy good lean ground beef if we're also buying $7 frozen pizza. We can't afford to buy whole wheat bread if we're also buying doughnuts. And we can't afford to make Honey Chicken with potatoes and squash if we're giving (insert favorite fast food restaurant name here) $10, $15, $20 for dinner 3 times a week.

My family each got a cheeseburger, a small fry, and an apple pie for dinner. according to McDonald's website that was 780 calories per person and 36 grams of fat. Our chicken dinner the night before was 396 calories per person and 13.2 grams of fat. So now our chicken dinner is not only cheaper but has half of the calories and a third of the fat of eating out! So why don't we cook more? We don't know how to cook? We aren't good a making grocery lists? We don't have the time to cook? Let me tell you what saved the dinner meal at my house. I added dinner prep to my morning routine. Now while the kids are eating breakfast I look at what I have planned for dinner, take meat out of the freezer if necessary, do chopping if the meal has a lot of vegetables, or stick it in the crock pot if that's the way we're going. Now at 5 when it's time to make dinner I not only know what I'm going to make, but the meat is thawed and we're ready to go.

So what's your excuse? After today you won't be able to say you don't know how to cook a good meal, because here comes the recipe for roasted chicken! This was originally a Cooking Light recipe that I've altered to fit my family better. Feel free to do the same.

Roast Chicken with Cumin, Honey, and Orange

1 (3-4 lbs) roasting chicken (this is one of the cheapest ways to buy chicken)
1/2 c honey
3 tbs orange zest
1.5 tbs ground cumin
3/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
3 garlic cloves minced

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees
2. Clean and rinse chicken, then starting at the neck carefully loosen skin from breast and drumsticks by inserting your fingers between the skin and meat.
3.Combine all the other ingredients. Rub the mixture under the loosened skin over breast meat and drumsticks.
4. Place chicken, breast side up, in a pan or on broiler pan. I use a casserole dish. Rub skin with a small amount of olive or vegetable oil. Cover loosely with foil.
5. Bake for 40 minutes, then uncover it and bake for an additional 30 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes before cutting. Discard skin for lower fat option. (Or eat it all before your kids can get there, like me)

Roasted Potatoes

1 small/med potato per person
A Little Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Seasonings like salt, pepper, garlic salt, rosemary, steak seasoning, ect

Chop your potatoes into 1-2 inch cubes (these do not have to be perfect! Just roughly the same size) I like to soak my potatoes for awhile to remove some of the starchiness. I cut them up and let them soak while I'm getting the chicken ready. Then I spread them out on a foil-covered cookie sheet. And drizzle them with a little oil, then toss them to distribute the oil evenly. Then season them with whatever you want. I used Montreal Steak Seasoning and a little garlic salt. These are also really good with fresh rosemary and a little lemon juice, or even just salt and pepper. They're your potatoes, do what you want!

Roast them until a fork goes through one easily and they are golden brown. 20-30 minutes. Keep an eye on them they vary in time. I put mine in with the chicken when I took the foil off.

So how much money do you spend not eating at home each week? How much do you spend on groceries? Next time you hit that take-out window think about what that meal is actually costing you. Now, go drink some water and check in Monday for weigh-in!

Perception

2012-01-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

I remember going shopping for prom dresses with a couple of friends of mine in 11th grade. At this time I was around 150 which for being 5 feet 8 inches is well within the healthy weight range. I watched my friends trying on their size 0, 2, & 4 dresses and felt like a total cow in comparison to them. (Aw the curse of petite friends). When I tried on my size 10 dresses I cried in my fitting room and refused to come out. I wish I could go back and explain to my teenage self that 150 is a healthy (and slender) weight for a girl who is tall and (let's face it) well-endowed. I wish I knew then that my stick-thin friends would have killed to have my...hmmm...assets. I wish I could go back and hug her and give her the confidence in her own body. I wish I didn't spend half of my life feeling that way.

I think this is a problem all women face. How skinny is skinny enough? When you overhear women talking about losing 5, 10, 15 pounds and wonder where they would lose it from? Do you have a goal number in mind? If I was 120, 130, 150 then I'd be skinny. Is weight loss about a number or a feeling or a dress a size to you?

When I got married I was 160 and so disappointed that I didn't lose those 10 pounds I planned on before the big date. Here's a picture from my wedding almost 10 years ago.

And here's one from my first year of marriage.

At the time I felt grotesquely large, and now I look at that girl and think she looks healthy. Not too big, not too small. It makes me wonder if I got to be that size again would I still feel fat? Could I lose 60 lbs and still not be happy with me? Now what I want most is to be able to go hiking with my kids, to ride bikes in the summer, to fit comfortably in air plane seats, to run up a flight of stairs. When I can do all those things will I still be fat?

Our perception is definitely skewed when we look into the mirror. If we look at ourselves through the eyes of our family, our children, our friends would we still be too fat? Maybe what we need to change is not the number on the scale but the image in our minds?

The Glory of the Tens Place

2012-01-16T09:47:00.000-08:00

So Monday is weigh-in day (it's also my eat like a normal person day which is why I'm writing this while eating enchilada casserole for breakfast). And today the scale was my friend showing a weight of 219.4! Woo-Hoo! That's right, one woman's- Holy Freaking Cow!-weight is another woman's WOO-HOO!

That puts me down 3 lbs for this week and 5.5 lbs total for 5 weeks. Maybe not where I was hoping to be but the weight is starting to come off which makes me very happy indeed. I passed another milestone this last week too...exercise is finally starting not to suck completely. I did my 35 minutes of cardio at the gym on Friday night and I felt strong and good work-out tired, not the exhausted and 'why the crud am I doing this to myself' tired I have been feeling.

Speaking of exercise have any of you tried Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred? I'm halfway through level 2 now and it's one of my favorite videos ever. It's a 20 minute workout which is great when you have kids (or a life) and it's intense. I used to workout with a friend who was in really good shape and by the end she was huffing and puffing as much as I was. Which was kind of depressing, you think it would get easier right? That's a subject for another post though. Anyway, the Shred combines 3 minutes of strength, 2 or cardio, and 1 of ab work into three circuits. If you're looking for a video to do in your home I would recommend this one. I used to work out to 80's step videos with leotard-clad women with high pony-tails and blue eye make up. LOL Do you guys remember those? Who invented leotards that snap in the crotch anyway?

It was glorious to see that scale tick down out of the 220's. I haven't seen teens on my scale in a long time. Makes me hopeful that that elusive hundreds place might not be too far behind.

Go drink a cup of water! No, I mean right now! Then check back in on Wednesday.

Home Cookin'

2012-01-13T08:24:00.000-08:00

So I'm a firm believer that if you cook the majority of your food at home you can still eat your favorite types of food. Making a cheeseburger on your own grill is fun, more satisfying, and definitely healthier than hitting the drive-thru for a double bacon cheeseburger. When you cook your own food you control the quality and portion sizes of your meal.

But sadly cooking from scratch is becoming a lost art in America. But I'm here to tell you that with some basic knowledge you can whip up a restaurant quality meal with much healthier results. So today let me tell you how to make homemade mac n' cheese without the blue box.

So the other day I was staring at my fridge, it was the end of the shopping week so our larder was looking pretty bare. To be completely honest I was thinking about hitting Little Caesers (curse you $5 pizza!) But resolutions were still pretty strong in my brain so instead I pulled out a bunch of half-used items from my fridge and pantry. Half-empty bag of shredded mozzarella, quarter block of cheddar, half empty can of chicken stock, and a half-full box of elbow macaroni. So I decided to make homemade macaroni and cheese for dinner. Those pesky resolutions though reminded me that I didn't want a dish full of cheesy, creamy, fat-filled deliciousness. But I still wanted a lot of flavor so I decided to go for a chili-mac with a stock-based sauce.

First step: Cook your pasta. I was planning on baking it with the sauce so I went for al dente ( a little undercooked). Cook according to package and then drain and set aside. Use whole-wheat pasta to up the healthiness!

Second step: Make your sauce. Start with a roux. What's a roux you ask? It's mixing a fat and flour together to create a thickener for your sauce. In my case I went with 2 tbs of butter, melting it in a large skillet. Then adding 2 tbs flour and cooking it until it's a beautiful paste in the center of your pan (about a minute).

Then you add your liquid. I used chicken stock instead of milk to cut calories and fat. I added 2 cups of chicken stock, whisking the paste until it all dissolved into the stock. Bring that up to a low boil, constantly stirring until it thickens slightly.

Then I added a whole bunch of seasoning to make up for the fact that I wasn't putting in a ton of cheese and cream (sniffle). I added a tsp of chili powder, a half-teaspoon of cumin, a half-teaspoon of smoked paprika, and the salt and pepper to taste. Now my sauce is a lovely reddish-brown color and it's time to add the cheese.

Remove from the heat and then add the cheese of your choice. I went with a big handful of mozzarella (because it's naturally low-fat) and a small handful of shredded cheddar for flavor. If you use a sharper cheddar you need a lot less to get the flavor you want. Stir to combine and then add to your pasta.

At this point you could add a handful of broccoli or cauliflower to beef up the health index of your dish. Or add some cooked ground turkey to make it a more hearty entree. Or you can do what I did and dump it into a casserole pan and top it with some breadcrumbs mixed with a little butter and some shredded parmesan I found in the back of the fridge. Then I baked it at 350 for 15 minutes to brown the topping. Served alongside a salad it was healthy and yummy! What's your favorite home-cooked meal? Did anyone else make resolutions not to eat out as much in 2012?

Check back in Monday for weigh-in!

Salt Water Flush

2012-01-11T09:17:00.000-08:00

Let me begin by saying that this is not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach. Salt water flushing (SWF) is often used in conjunction with juice fasting or cleansing to stimulate bowel movements when you're not eating and solid foods. But I like to use it when I'm feeling run down, when I haven't been eating very healthy, and when I'm not having regular bowel movements. It's not healthy for waste to sit in your intestines for long periods of time, humans are meant to evacuate on a regular (aka daily) basis. The longer waste sits in your intestines the more is absorbed back into your system.

On that lovely mental picture here's the instructions.

Using a 1 liter water bottle and your teaspoon measure, mix a solution consisted of :

Sea Salt - 2 teaspoons or 1 tablespoon
And Pure Water – 1 quart of warm water

Mix a solution of sea salt and room temperature water.

And then here comes the fun part: Shake it well and move to the sink. I like to “pound it” – This is a challenge in itself, especially once it hits your empty stomach. Make sure your stomach is empty when you do this, first thing in the morning is best.

Most likely, you will feel full halfway through, but keep going! Stopping only makes you taste the salt, and will activate your gag reflex. While it is not required to drink the solution in one go, you will find that the taste is such that you will want to get it down as fast as possible.

Then go about your normal routine, but don't leave the house because in about 30-60 minutes you are going to need frequent access to one of these.

You're going to feel a rumble in your belly and your bowels, give it a while. Let it brew! Yeah, I know that is weird to think about, but you should let it build up. You are going to have 3-7 movements, possibly more. Generally speaking, you will end up pushing out what you put in. The entire liter of sea salt water will be expelled over the next hour along with the contents of your bowels. No picture of that, sorry. A word of warning while you wait for this moment. DO NOT FART!!! You will most certainly not pass only air – if you know what I mean...

The salt flush will not dehydrate you because it is indigestible and will pass straight through you. This is not a pleasant process but I always feel so much better after I do it. It clears up my skin and makes me more regular. Let me know if you try it, and what you thought about it.

Weigh-In Jan 9th

2012-01-09T08:35:00.000-08:00

So Mondays are 'do or die' days so to speak. And the results for my first weigh-in (this time around) is...222.5! Yay! Down 2 lbs this week. Also down 2.5 lbs for the last 4 weeks but let's stick to this weeks stats, shall we? Now granted the weight loss this week might have been helped along by the fact that yesterday was fast Sunday (in my church we fast for 24 hours the first Sunday of the month and then donate the money we would have spent on food to help the needy) but I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. So....happy dance!

Maybe there's a small chance I actually will fit into the dress I bought for my anniversary. 5 weeks and 2 days from now David and I will celebrate our 10th anniversary, and 1 month ago I bought a dress from my favorite dress site Shabby Apple, to wear. Of course being the neurotic woman I am I bought it one size small and assumed I could lose enough weight in 9 weeks to fit into it. (Why do women do things like that? You never see a man buying a too-small suit or pair of jeans as a "goal"). Anyway, want to see the dress? Head over to Shabby Apple and check it out. It's the PHD dress, and while you're there browse their super cute clothes, fall in love, become addicted, order something and get 15% off for clicking through my link...anyway. Still holding out hope for that dress.

So I took a new before picture this morning. I told myself that the more hideous a 'before' picture looks the better your 'after" picture looks, right? So in that spirit I opted for a prison-style shoot with no make-up, hair undone, in my exercise clothes. The vapid expression and vacant eyes are more a result of trying to coach my 8 year-old to take a picture that includes my head, feet, arms, and enough space to crop out my messy bedroom. That's a lot harder than you would think.

All right, let me tell you the things I hate about overweight pictures.

1. Double Chins

2. Arms that can't go straight down so they bow out like gorilla arms.

3. Cankles (need I say more...ewwww)

4. The way my feet are always a foot apart even when I think I'm standing with them together.

5. Double Chins...wait, did I say that already?

In other words this is the perfect before shot, don't you think? Today starts with triumph and the vague and misty idea that next week I might be under 220 lbs (aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh) at weigh-in. I'm going to the doctor today to get my other health numbers, blood pressure, cholesterol, ect. to add to my progress chart. Because after all this is about getting healthy more than a certain number on the (%#@!) scale. I'll update those numbers when I get them.

I'll be back on Wednesday with a post on salt-water flushes, a lot of you had questions about them after Friday's post. And then make sure to check in on Friday for a yummy healthy recipe. Happy Monday everyone and drink some extra water today.

Never Say Never

2012-01-06T09:24:00.001-08:00

Never thought I'd be posting on here again. It's been 2 and a half years since my last post but here I am fighting the same uphill battle. When I left last I was pregnant with my 4th child Maylee. She was born in a beautiful homebirth (read here). In the week after her birth I lost all 17 lbs I gained during my pregnancy. Then in the next 2 weeks I put back on those 17 lbs and 15 more to boot! I mean scientifically that's not even possible. If a pound is equivalent to 3500 calories I would have had to eat 100,000 EXTRA calories on top of my normal diet. Obviously there's something more nefarious at work here, right? RIGHT?! (she screams to the heavens).

SO here I am, 3 weeks away from my 30th birthday and 5 weeks away from my 10th anniversary and I'm exactly the same weight I was almost 3 years when I started this journey (225 lbs). No problem, right? I mean I lost 40 lbs last time, I can do it again! That's what I thought when I started trying to lose weigh 4 weeks ago (really wanted to be under 200 for my anniversary). And after 4 weeks of meal replacement shakes, and fresh veggies, and lots of grilled chicken, and exercising morning and night...where am I? I'm at 224.5. That's right I lost half of a pound!!!!

Sigh

Double Sigh

Deep Breath

I swear I'll never understand my body. I'm not asking for miracles. I'm not asking for a quick fix. I am totally willing to do it the hard way...all I want is for the hard way to work!

So I'm wondering what the next step is. Should I see another doctor? A nutritionist? An acupuncturist? Should I keep chugging along hoping things will change? I took measurements today because my husband swears I'm just gaining muscle and that's why I'm not losing weight. But eventually you have to lose weight, right? I don't want to be a 225 pound muscle woman! (ewwww...bad mental image)

What have you guys done to lose weight? I'm a purist at heart and never wanted to get involved with drugs or pre-packaged food systems or crazy phases of weird diets. But to be perfectly honest I'm feeling a little desperate to see the scale move. Today I'm going to do a salt water flush and clear out my plumbing, I always feel better afterwards and fresh foods always taste better. Weigh-in is on monday. I'll keep you all posted.

PS I tried to find a new "Before" picture to post but looking back through our photo album I found that I had cleverly posed a child in front of me in every single picture. LOL I'll take one this week and post it on Monday.

The Finish Line

2009-07-04T09:19:00.000-07:00

So, obviously I have been neglecting this blog the last couple of months. I haven't really been able to focus on weight loss lately. In fact this will be my last post on this blog. I've accomplished most of the goals that I had when I started this blog over a year and a half ago and it's time to move on to new goals.

Thank you everyone for all the support you've given me through this journey. My final weight loss total was 40 lbs and I couldn't have done it without your help.

To see the reason I can no longer focus on weight loss make sure to head over to my family blog.

www.drorbaughfamily.blogspot.com

Ode to me?

2009-04-06T07:38:00.000-07:00

Exactly one year ago I started out on this journey. To lose weight, to get healthy, to do better. Now, an entire year later, I am not where I thought I would be. Originally last April I thought that I could lose all 80 pounds by October. :-) Well, obviously that didn't happen. But let's talk about what did happen.

I lost 35 lbs.
I've kept it off for months. Through holidays, birthdays, and special events.
I've lost over 2 feet in inches.
I've run a 5K.
I've droppped 6 pants sizes.
I've made being healthy a way of life...not just a diet.
I've moved up from my 3 lbs weights to lifting with 10 lb weights.

And it's all thanks to you. Without your support and accountability you provided I never would have gotten this far. It would have been so easy to give up if I didn't have to report back to you guys each Monday. Now, I'm not where I want to be quite yet, but I ma enjoying where I am for once. If I could lose another 35 lbs this year I would be thrilled. Thank you everyone for your support. I hope we'll all be healthier in 2009 than we were in 2008.

This is my starting picture one year ago and the other is a picture of me taken after my run this morning.

Enough is enough!

2009-03-30T10:59:00.000-07:00

So after another hospital trip I am now up to 198! Sheesh, after dinner lat night I even saw the dreaded 200 on the scale. On top of that I feel tired and awful again, which I know comes from eating sugar, wheat, and dairy. How do you get to the point where emergencies in your life aren't an excuse to overeat? Cause I'm having way too many such situations to pull it off with out exploding like a blimp.

Anyway, today is devoted to reattaching my nose to the grindstone. I started weightlifting again this morning and tomorrow I'm going to start running again. Also I'm back on the protein shakes and trying to bulk up on fruits and veggies for some natural energy. I think I'm going to set my sights on running a 10K in the next couple of months. I have a vague inclination to maybe think about possibly considering training to run a marathon.

So my goal for this week is to lose three pounds. GRRRR, I hate having to re-lose weight I've already lost. Oh well, live and learn, right?

More exciting?

2009-03-23T09:24:00.000-07:00

Well when I posted two weeks ago I was wishing for a more exciting posts, and then I had two crazy weeks. For complete details on that check my family blog. Because of the craziness, the not sleeping, and really bad hospital food I am back up to 195 this week. :-( Blah. I'm hoping since the weight was recent and just the result of stress and a weird eating schedule it will come off again quickly. So back on the wagon today.

Good news though, I had my doctor's appt last week and although I had gained weight I had actually lost 2 lbs of fat and gained 5 lbs of muscles. So my total body fat % is down to 33%. So a little sunshine in the forecast. I'm leaving for Utah in 4 weeks and want to lose 10 lbs before I go.

Blah Blah Blah

2009-03-09T07:49:00.000-07:00

I could copy and paste any of my posts for the last month this week. I didn't lose any weight, I'm still exercising, I like my weight lifting program. Blah blah blah. I go into see my doctor on Thursday and I haven't lost any weight since our last appointment so I'm going to ask him to adjust my meal plan. And I'm going to do a 3 day cleanse today to see if I can shake things up a little bit. Check back in next week for a hopefully more exciting post.

Misery loves company

2009-03-03T06:39:00.000-08:00

So today is day 9 of my 30 day weight training program and I'm really loving the program so far. I alternate arms and legs every other day and do a little ab work every day and take Sunday off to recover. I've already had to increase the weights I'm working with on a couple of exercises and pretty soon I'm going to need to go buy heavier weights. No weight loss this week, but that wasn't unexpected due to some stress and a lot of emotional eating. But I exercised every day and I'm proud of that. I've set a short-term goal of being on my meal plans every day in March, along with exercising ever day (excluding Sunday). We're going to Utah at the end of April for Women's Conference and I would like to be 10-15 lbs lighter by then.

The best news is that David asked if we could get up a little early and start lifting weights together before he goes to work! So now we're doing the program together. We started this morning and I'm sure he'll start feeling those squats pretty quick! Hopefully next week we'll both have some weight loss to show for it.

Passion

2009-02-23T08:19:00.000-08:00

So obviously I haven't been very good about posting the last couple of weeks. David always says that one of the things he loves most about me is how I can get really passionate about a subject. The problem is I can typically be really excited about only one thing at a time. And the last 6 weeks it has NOT been weight loss, it's been trying to get pregnant. (Which, by the way, you think would be a whole lot easier, and more fun, than trying to lose weight. But alas, such is not the case with me). Anyway, I keep setting myself up for disappointment and heartache in that department so I decided it's time to rekindle some of the weight loss passion. I haven't lost any weight in the last 6 weeks. The good news is I haven't gained any either, but been able to maintain my weight with little to no dieting and no exercise. I'm pretty proud of that.

So today I am starting a new weight lifting program. It's a 30 day program, lifting weights 6 days a week. Since strength training seems to help me lose weight the easiest I have hopes that I can lose 8-10 lbs this month. Crossing my fingers. So, back to protein shakes and grilled chicken for me.

Because so many of you have asked me for, and because I'm pretty tired about blogging about myself all the time, I have set up a family blog. Here's the link to it.

www.drorbaughfamily.blogspot.com

I got carried away with family pics and posted 4 times this morning. SO if you want to keep scrolling after the first post there are some fun pics towards the bottom. Love you all! Have a great week!

Pay it forward!

2009-02-12T20:07:00.000-08:00

I saw this on a blog from a friend in my Tempe ward. I love the idea!

Here's how it works-the first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive, at some point during the year, a handmade gift from me.

What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise! The catch is that you must participate as well-before you leave your comment here, write up a pay it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going. (Or you can cut and paste from this one like I did)

Then come back, let me know you're going to play, and sit back and wait to receive your fun gift!! Remember that only the first 3 comments will receive a gift from me, so hurry, hurry, hurry!

Plateau Land

2009-02-09T08:49:00.000-08:00

Well I'm still hovering around 189. I've totally fallen off the exercise wagon because I've been so exhausted lately! I'm trying to stick to my diet but often find myself just trying to "eat healthy" rather than follow the plan. Which I guess is better than nothing. Anyway, I have another appointment with my weight loss doctor on Thursday so I guess I'll just have to go an be embarrassed about not losing any weight this month. Oh well. At least I didn't gain! My size 14 jeans are starting to feel a little loose and I'm wondering if I might be able to wear a size 12. But I think I'll give it a few more pounds before I try.

I hope everyone has a Happy Valentines day. David and I will be celebrating our 7th anniversary on Sunday. Sometimes I feel like my marriage is the only thing in my life that is never a trial. I love you for that David. You're still my hero.

Wow

2009-02-04T08:26:00.001-08:00

I found this on my miscarriage board and it was so perfect in explaining how a woman who miscarries feels. Everyone needs to read this in in case someone around you experiences a loss. Sorry, it's very long.

"When women experience the loss of a child, one of the first things they discover they have in common is a list of things they wish no one had ever said to them. The lists tend to be remarkably similar. The comments are rarely malicious - just misguided attempts to soothe.

This list was compiled as a way of helping other people understand pregnancy loss. While generated by mothers for mothers, it may also apply similarly to the fathers who have endured this loss.
When trying to help a woman who has lost a baby, the best rule of thumb is a matter of manners: don't offer your personal opinion of her life, her choices, her prospects for children. No woman is looking to poll her acquaintances for their opinions on why it happened or how she should cope.

-Don't say, "It's God's Will." Even if we are members of the same congregation, unless you are a cleric and I am seeking your spiritual counseling, please don't presume to tell me what God wants for me. Besides, many terrible things are God's Will, that doesn't make them less terrible.

-Don't say, "It was for the best - there was probably something wrong with your baby." The fact that something was wrong with the baby is what is making me so sad. My poor baby never had a chance. Please don't try to comfort me by pointing that out.

-Don't say, "You can always have another one." This baby was never disposable. If had been given the choice between loosing this child or stabbing my eye out with a fork, I would have said, "Where's the fork?" I would have died for this baby, just as you would die for your children.

-Don't say, "Be grateful for the children you have." If your mother died in a terrible wreck and you grieved, would that make you less grateful to have your father?

-Don't say, "Thank God you lost the baby before you really loved it." I loved my son or daughter. Whether I lost the baby after two weeks of pregnancy or just after birth, I loved him or her.

-Don't say, "Isn't it time you got over this and moved on?" It's not something I enjoy, being grief-stricken. I wish it had never happened. But it did and it's a part of me forever. The grief will ease on its own timeline, not mine - or yours.

-Don't say, "Now you have an angel watching over you." I didn't want her to be my angel. I wanted her to bury me in my old age.

-Don't say, "I understand how you feel." Unless you've lost a child, you really don't understand how I feel. And even if you have lost a child, everyone experiences grief differently.

-Don't tell me horror stories of your neighbor or cousin or mother who had it worse. The last thing I need to hear right now is that it is possible to have this happen six times, or that I could carry until two days before my due-date and labor 20 hours for a dead baby. These stories frighten and horrify me and leave me up at night weeping in despair. Even if they have a happy ending, do not share these stories with me.

-Don't pretend it didn't happen and don't change the subject when I bring it up. If I say, "Before the baby died..." or "when I was pregnant..." don't get scared. If I'm talking about it, it means I want to. Let me. Pretending it didn't happen will only make me feel utterly alone.

- Don't say, "It's not your fault." It may not have been my fault, but it was my responsibility and I failed. The fact that I never stood a chance of succeeding only makes me feel worse. This tiny little being depended upon me to bring him safely into the world and I couldn't do it. I was supposed to care for him for a lifetime, but I couldn't even give him a childhood. I am so angry at my body you just can't imagine.

-Don't say, "Well, you weren't too sure about this baby, anyway." I already feel so guilty about ever having complained about morning sickness, or a child I wasn't prepared for, or another mouth to feed that we couldn't afford. I already fear that this baby died because I didn't take the vitamins, or drank too much coffee, or had alcohol in the first few weeks when I didn't know I was pregnant. I hate myself for any minute that I had reservations about this baby. Being unsure of my pregnancy isn't the same as wanting my child to die - I never would have chosen for this to happen.

-Do say, "I am so sorry." That's enough. You don't need to be eloquent. Say it and mean it and it will matter.

-Do say, "You're going to be wonderful parents some day," or "You're wonderful parents and that baby was lucky to have you." We both need to hear that.

-Do say, "I have lighted a candle for your baby," or "I have said a prayer for your baby." Do send flowers or a kind note - every one I receive makes me feel as though my baby was loved. Don't resent it if I don't respond. Don't call more than once and don't be angry if the machine is on and I don't return your call. If we're close friends and I am not responding to your attempts to help me, please don't resent that, either. Help me by not needing anything from me for a while. If you're my boss or my co-worker:

-Do recognize that I have suffered a death in my family - not a medical condition.

-Do recognize that in addition to the physical aftereffects I may experience, I'm going to be grieving for quite some time. Please treat me as you would any person who has endured the tragic death of a loved one - I need time and space.

DO understand if I do not attend baby showers/christening/birthday parties etc. And DON'T ask why I can't come.

Please don't bring your baby or toddler into the workplace. If your niece is pregnant, or your daughter just had a baby, please don't share that with me right now. It's not that I can't be happy for anyone else, it's that every smiling, cooing baby, every glowing new mother makes me ache so deep in my heart I can barely stand it. I may look okay to you, but there's a good chance that I'm still crying every day. It may be weeks before I can go a whole hour without thinking about it. You'll know when I'm ready - I'll be the one to say, "Did your daughter have her baby?" or, "How is that precious little boy of yours? I haven't seen him around the office in a while."

Above all, please remember that this is the worst thing that ever happened to me. The word "miscarriage" is small and easy. But my baby's death is monolithic and awful. It's going to take me a while to figure out how to live with it. Bear with me."

2009-01-27T15:00:00.000-08:00

A couple days ago we hiked A Mountain in Tempe and when I downloaded I found a full-length picture of me that will work as a progress picture. Here it is, look you can actually see muscle in my calves!

A Very Merry Birthday

2009-01-26T07:26:00.000-08:00

Today is my birthday. I'm 27 years old today. It feels pretty good. I'm giving myself lots of birthday presents this year. The gift of loving myself as much as I love others. The gift of thinking about me once and a while. The gift of letting go of the guilt. The gift of enjoying my children more than I ever have before. The gift of being happy with what I've accomplished and not disappointed that I haven't done more.

I haven't weighed myself this morning but I've been pretty stable all week long. I don't think I lost weight but that's not surprising after the big loss last week. I'm sorry I haven't got a new picture of me up yet. I never remember when David is here and it's kind of hard to take it by myself. I'll work on that this week.

Love you all! Have a great week.

Dr. Appt

2009-01-19T10:24:00.000-08:00

I had my third appointment with my weight loss specialist this week. And the official weigh in was 189.

Woo-hoo! 180's on my scale. At least for one day, then I got sick and couldn't stomach my shakes or exercise for 3 days. So I put a couple of those pounds back on. But they're mostly water weight which should come off today now that I'm back on my program. The fact is the last time I weighed 190 was when I got pregnant with Emma, nearly 7 years ago. So that's 36 lbs lost and we're cruising up on 40 lbs! What a nice birthday present that would be. Yep, that's right my birthday is a week from today and I will be 27. My birthday present to myself is not having to spend another birthday over 200 lbs. Have a great week everyone and I promise I'll post a new picture this week.

And finally...

GO CARDINALS! Superbowl here we come! My dad told me that if you had bet $20 at the beginning of the season that the Cardinals would be in the Superbowl you would be collection $200,000 today. Crazy, huh?

I'm Back....Finally!

2009-01-12T10:21:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone, I'm back! Sorry about the long silence but I was enjoying my Christmas break without much thought ot losing weight. Which was a very nice break. But now it's a new year, the season of weight loss goals. For one month I'm not the only person obsessed with weight loss, I'm one of millions! Are you one of them? Let me tell you a couple things I've learned.

Losing weight is a decision you make in your mind. It's a series of small choices that add up. It's one part science and one part perseverance. It's one of the slowest things I've ever done in my life! It's a lifestyle not a temporary fix. If you start a diet thinking "I'll do this until I lose 10 lbs and then I'll stop." You will be losing those 10 lbs over and over again for the rest of your life, and watching your weight slowly go up. (Or not so slowly). Being healthy is a lifetime commitment. A lifetime of playing with your kids, or grandkids, of taking long walks with your special someone, a lifetime of time to do what you want. Healthy is something different for all of us, many of us (me included) are dealing with medical issues that prevent us from being as healthy as we want to be. Sometimes it's hard to look down the road and see a lifetime painted with doctor's appointments, medications, and symptoms that won't go away. I've learned to enjoy the small things about my body and not focus on what it won't do. I appreciate legs that are strong enough to walk, and arms that can pick up my children. This is the only life I'm going to get and I don't want to spend it angry at the hand I've been dealt.

Enough psycho-babble! I'm down to 193! Yea! I've lost 32 lbs thus far and am hoping to see 189 on my scale in the near future. I weight 190 when I got pregnant with Emma almost 7 years ago! I see my doctor on Thursday so I'm eager to see what my body fat percentage is this month. I've been weight lifting on a regular basis and using my Wii Fit at night for some aerobic exercise. And just one more thing before I go....

GO CARDINALS! YOU CAN BEAT THOSE EAGLES!

Merry Christmas

2008-12-22T08:52:00.000-08:00

Well count down to Christmas is just 3 days now and my kids are near crazed with excitement! I confess I've had a hard time getting into the Christmas spirit this year. With David working the two jobs we almost never get to see him anymore, and with every penny we make going to paying off debt we're not doing as much giving this year as we normally do.

But getting this close to the big day and seeing my children's joy in the holiday is starting to kindle a little bit of the spirit in my own heart. Children are such a joy and a blessing and their sweet innocence never fails to amaze me. I'm so grateful for the three children I've been given.

Thank you everyone for your notes and emails last week. I so appreciate your friendship and support during times like these. So first the good news! Getting under 200 lbs seems to have been the magic feather to me. I've ovulated all three months that I've kept my weight in the 190's. This has been one of the major barriers to me getting pregnant so I know you'll understand my joy in this. However a new problem has presented itself and it is still extremely unlikely that David and I will be able to conceive without further medical intervention. I ask for your continued prayers and support that this problem will resolve itself quickly and that I will be able to keep losing weight in the meantime!

This week I am hovering at 195. I'm not expecting a loss this week frankly, with it being Christmas, but I would like to maintain so that's my goal this week. I've lost 30 lbs to date and am very happy with that. I had my appointment with my weight loss specialist last week and I lost another percentage of body fat and 9 lbs during the last month. He was very happy with my progress so hopefully we can lose another 9 lbs this month. :-)

I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, or a merry holiday of choice. I love you all!

Daisy Grace

2008-12-15T08:12:00.000-08:00

First with the official business. I weighed in at 194.5 this morning. That's down three lbs from last week. I don't why. I didn't follow my diet this week and I didn't exercise really. I think it's God's way of making this week easier on me.

Today is the anniversary of my daugter's due date. She was due one year ago today. It's hard for me to write about but it helps me to talk about her. Here is an excerpt from my journal:

"Today is the first anniversary of Daisy's due date. It's strange how time just keeps moving on, passing you by almost unrecognized. It seems like it was just July and I was spending the day remembering the day she left us. That day is almost easier. It's a tangible day, a tangible grief. It's the day she died and I can grieve for her, for the end of my pregnancy, for the moments I held her little body, for the loss.

The due date is harder for me. It's about what could have been. It's about the 1 year old who isn't running around my house. It's about the little blonde-headed girl who isn't blowing out her candles. It's about what I don't have. It's about the loss of a dream. And every month that passes without me being pregnant seems to make that loss more poignant.

Sometimes I wonder if I've already held my last baby, if I've already passed those precious milestones that turn a baby into a toddler into a preschooler for the last time. Did I treasure them enough? Of course not. I was planning on doing it 4 or 5 more times. Such big plans I had for myself and my family.

How was I to know that God had His own plan for me?

Now there's this bitterness in me that I hate. It boils up when I see a pregnant woman, or someone holding their newborn. It spews forth when my sisters get pregnant or my friends announce their news. It eats me up while I sit in church and listen to all the babies cry. I hate this angry person who can't even be happy for others because they have what I want. Maybe that's what I need to learn from this experience? Compassion in the face of loss.

This is the pain that keeps on giving. This is the wound that won't heal, it's ripped open over and over. It keeps sluggishly bleeding, draining me of hope.

Daisy, I miss you. I hope you're not disappointed in me that I'm handling this trial so badly. I miss you everyday. Our family is not complete without you here. I know we'll all be together someday."

No change

2008-12-08T08:40:00.000-08:00

I'm still 197.5 this week, just like last week. So my body has reacted to this diet the same way it reacts to all of them: great weight loss the first week and then nothing. Sometimes I wonder if I lined up 8 different diets and then rotated through them each week for two months if I could have some sustained weight loss. I have an appointment with my weight loss doctor next week so I guess I'll wait and see what he has to say. I love you all and hope you have a good week.

Oh, by the way, if you're wondering what to get that woman in your life for Christmas you might want to check out this blog for ideas.

www.salsacrafts.blogspot.com

She has some great stuff for great prices. Make sure to scroll through older posts to see everything. I especially love the "Ho Ho Ho" blocks.

Thanksgiving

2008-12-01T08:22:00.001-08:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. Our Thanksgiving was great, very quiet and simple. We were very happy to have my family over on Thursday and then Papa and Grammy over on Friday. I cooked a wonderful meal (if I do say so myself) and didn't worry about my weight all day long. That was the best present I could have given myself. So all in all, considering how much I ate that day, I'm proud to report that my weight this morning was 197.5. I only gained 1 lb over the Thanksgiving weekend and I know it could have been much worse.

So now starts the Christmas season. Cookies, candies, parties, and treats. I'm going to have to be very careful if I want to keep losing this month. When I was a member of Weight Watchers they had a saying I liked. "The Holidays are 4 days not 4 months!" I am taking some days off of course, David's company Christmas party especially! Cheryl always cooks for it and I look forward to it all year long. Yum-o.

Anyway, I'm buckling down again now. Started lifting weights again and hitting the workouts. If my doctor is right I should be able to lose most of the weight in 2 months so let's get started!

Love ya all and Merry Christmas!

Hope

2008-11-24T07:30:00.000-08:00

Last Thursday I had a Dr.'s appointment. Actually two of them. One with my Family doctor to go over all my lab results, and one with the weight loss specialist in their office. All of my labs are within normal ranges which is good, though some of the numbers are higher than I like them to be. I asked my doctor to up my dosage of metformin to 1600 mg and he agreed. And unlike starting at 1000 mg, moving up to 1600 has had no adverse side-effects.

Then I went to meet with the weight loss specialist. I've put off this appt several times. Every time I try to talk to a doctor about losing weight they tell me the same thing.."Eat less, Exercise more." This usually after I tell them that I'm eating 1500 calories a day and exercising 6 days a week! Then if I press the point they usually tell me that I must be lying about how much I'm eating. GRRRR. So I didn't have high hopes for this appointment.

Well the guy who ran my appt was awesome! I say "guy" instead of "man" because he was maybe 22 years old. He listened to what I told him about my current routine and then told me he wouldn't change any of my exercise because I was doing everything right but he did want to tweak my diet a little. Then he ran a metabolic and body composition scan. This tells you exactly the number of calories you specifically burn and also your percentage of fat to lean muscle.

Well it turns out that my percentage of body fat is 35%, ideal is 18-25%, so mine is actually pretty good. He told me he had never seen a woman who weighs as much as me have that low a percentage of body fat. It's usually closer to 50%. He told me if I had 10 more lbs of lean muscle they would put me in the same category as female body builders! Also because I have so much muscle and muscle weighs more than fat he changed my goal weight. All this time I've listed 150 as my goal weight but he told me that 170 is my goal now! So I lost 20 lbs just at that appt! :-)

After seeing the results of the scan he said he thinks my biggest problem is I'm not getting enough protein in my diet to support all that muscle. He gave me a program that involves 2 meal replacement shakes a day, combined with snacks of fruit & veggies. And then one meal that's heavy on lean meats and vegetables. He wanted me on the shakes because he said it would be easier to keep track of the calories I'm eating and at the end of one month we'll know exactly what's going on.

So I've been on the program for 3 complete days now, I was 203 on the morning of the first day and this morning when I woke up I was.........................

196.5!

I lost 6.5 lbs in just the three days I've been on it. Plus I've had more energy, I spend more time full and less time hungry, I don't crave carbs at all anymore, and I've been sleeping like a baby! HALLELUJAH! Something is finally working and I'm so happy. I have hope again for the first time in months.

So with the change in my goal weight I now only have 26.5 lbs to lose. Seems so much more manageable to me than 50 lbs. Everyone say a little prayer for me that I will be able to stay on the program and not cheat.

I am however taking the day of Thanksgiving off! Have a happy Turkey Day everyone! I'm so thankful for each one of you being in my life!

Created by MyFitnessPal - Free Diet Journal

The Finish Line

2008-11-17T19:51:00.000-08:00

This last Saturday I finally checked something off my "to-do" list. I ran in my first 5K. I was very nervous because I've been so sick the last couple of weeks but I knew if I kept putting it off I would never do it. So I decided Friday night that I was going to run (in large part because my family decided to come cheer me on).

I got to the race Saturday morning and registered and got my number. I stretched and tried to stay calm. There were a lot of seriously scary runners there. I felt intimidated just stretching next to some of those people.

My goal was honestly just to finish the dumb race but in the back of my mind I really wanted to run the whole thing. Not walk at all. I'd never run longer than 20 minutes though.

Here's my before picture...you can tell it's the before because I'm still looking pretty good. :-)

This is me looking less happy 3 miles into the race.

This is the finish line and me looking overjoyed because I got to stop running.

And finally this is me crying all over David's shoulder because in the end I was able to run the whole thing. All 40 minutes and 3.2 miles.

Sadly but not real surprising I did not lose weight this week. In fact after the race I gained 2 lbs. Just my luck. So I'm hovering at 203-204 and can't seem to budge. I have an appt this week with my doctor to try and come up with a game plan. We'll see how that goes. I hope everyone will set a goal this week, something you think you could never do. Have a great week.

The Side Effects of Met

2008-11-10T08:09:00.000-08:00

So I have some good news this week. I've been asking my OB to put me on a medication called metformin for a long time. It's actually a diabetic drug but it has has a lot of success helping women with PCOS manage their symptoms and lose weight. But my Ob has always been more concerned about helping me get pregnant again, rather than treating my PCOS. So last week I made an appointment to see my family doctor and he had no problem prescribing the medication for me. Without getting too technical, metformin helps with insulin resistance.

Now the bad news. 50% of women who take met will have no side effects at all, and about 25% of women will have low-moderate side effects, and 25% of women will have extreme side effects.

Does anyone want to take a guess as to what group I fall into?

I have been taking this medication for 3 days now, the majority of which I have been in my bathroom having an overly-friendly relationship with my toilet. When I'm not in there I am nauseous and have horrible headaches, not to mention the fatigue and stomach cramps. Part of me this morning was considering if lying on the floor and dying wouldn't be a better option than taking my morning dose. I will adjust to the medication, most women will have no symptoms at all after 2-3 weeks.

That's right...2-3 WEEKS! So 3 days of complete misery down, only 18 days to go. If any of you who live close to me want to drive over here and shoot me I'd appreciate it.

On the bright side I've lost 5 lbs in 3 days. You can guess how.

Trudging, Trudging

2008-11-03T09:51:00.000-08:00

That's all it feels like I'm doing lately. I can't shake this cold I've had for about 3 months (I suspect it comes from working in the nursery). I've been very cold lately too so I wonder if my thyroid is acting up again. Anyway, I was 203 again this week. Sigh. Trudging, trudging.

Halloween Party

2008-10-29T11:16:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! Sorry for the delay in posting this week. Monday was my annual Halloween Party and I was running around like the proverbial chicken for the last week. For those of you who live too far away to come to my spectacular party I will say this, it is waaaay too much work! I spend about 4 solid days coming up with all Halloween themed food and decorations. Here's a couple samples of my work.

From the top: Celery Mummies, Mummy Toes, Monster Toes, Mini Mummies, Witch's Hats, Bloody ears and Skeleton Bones.

So obviously, since I have no self-control and I was baking all week I gained another 2 lbs this week. :-) This is the one week where it doesn't really bother me because I know I deserved this gain.

Anyway, I started running again last week and I was surprised how easy it was to pick it up again. The date for my 5k is officially set for Nov 15th and I'm training hard. My goal has always been to run the whole thing without any walking. Yesterday I ran my best time yet, I managed to run for about 22 minutes before stopping. I'm at a 12 minute mile right now so I'll need to either run longer or faster. :-) Maybe both.

Hopefully this week will be a bit better than the last 2 and we can start seeing some 100's on the scale again!

Emotional Eating

2008-10-20T20:44:00.000-07:00

My week was long. That's about the best I can say about it. I'm at 201 this morning so I gained 2 lbs this week. David started his second job so he's gone in the evening now. I've always had a problem with emotional eating and it really flared up this week. I found myself eating late at night, something I haven't done in months and months. I'm also having a hard time finding time to exercise with the new schedule our family is on. I'd really appreciate it if everyone would say a prayer for me this week, help me to get back on track.

ONE-DERLAND!

2008-10-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

That's right! This morning......

199!

We have crossed the threshold into the 100's. I can't even describe the emotion when you first see that 1 on the scale after...well....a really long time. We still have a long way to go, but let's all take a second to relax, celebrate, and enjoy a bit of treadmill dancing.

Old Navy

2008-10-06T09:59:00.000-07:00

All right I didn't make 199 this week like I wanted to. In fact when I weighed myself this morning I was still 201 just like last week. However I am super happy this week anyway! Want to know why?

My mom and Christy and I went shopping this weekend. We were out celebrating Christy's 20th birthday and we went to Old Navy in Casa Grande. Now I haven't tried on any clothes since I started to lose the weight. I told David that I wouldn't buy anymore clothes until I didn't have to buy plus-sized clothes anymore. I was terrified I still wouldn't fit into normal sized pants. But Christy wanted me to try some jeans on with her so I went to the back of the rack and grabbed the biggest size they had, an 18. And then I thoughy, well I've lost a lot of inches around my hips, so I grabbed a 16 too. Just in case.

We went to the dressing room and I decided to try on the 18's first. I pulled them on and buttoned them and they were HUGE on me! :) I was so excited to think that I not only was in normal sized clothes but that I wasn't even the biggest size. So, I pulled on the 16's and guess what? They were too big for me too!

That's right...I am in size 14 jeans! I was doing a little happy dance right there in the dressing room, much to the amusement of the teenage boy who was working there. Here's a pic.

I had to mess with the color so you could even see the jeans. We took the picture last night and it was a little too dark. But still...here I am in Old Navy clothes. I haven't worn jeans in over 2 years. I am super excited.

This week I want to thank Grandma and Grandpa Mace for sending in their pledge and my sister for making me try on clothes, and my mom for buying me 2 shirts to go with my new jeans. That's it for this week. Love ya all!

So Close!

2008-09-29T10:15:00.000-07:00

Oh I am so close that I can practically taste it. This morning I weighed in at 201! Just 2 lbs away from that 199. On one hand I can't believe I'm so close to no longer being 200 lbs and on the other hand I can't believe how long it's taken me to get here! Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk.

I've been at 203 for so long (over a month now) that I was almost in shock as I stood on the scale this morning. Let's all cross our fingers that it wasn't some kind of bizarre aberration! I'm attributing the loss to the garage sale we had this weekend. Although I basically ate junk all weekend I also was carrying couches and huge boxes around too. I guess the exercise outweighed the food this week.

So now I'm up to 24 lbs lost, I'm desperately hoping to be under 200 when I post next week. I also measured myself for the first time in a month or so and I was down 4 inches from the last time I measured and down 29 inches from the beginning! That's over 2 feet...wow.

I want to thank Bill & Cheryl for sending in their pledge this week, and David R. I will be calling to cash in on those free babysitting nights! :-)

If I get under 200 this week I will definitely post a photo next week. Hope everyone has a wonderful week.

Hello Again!

2008-09-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the long break there. I had a couple of really strange weeks there, weight-wise. I'm 203 this morning, which is what I was 2 weeks ago the last time I blogged. But in between now and then my weight has been up to 210 and back. I don't know how it's even possible to gain 7 pounds in 1 week; you'd have to eat an extra 25,000 calories! Which I can guarantee you I didn't! :-)

But I'm back down to 203 now and I'm determined to be under 200 lbs in the next week or two. My training has also been off, mainly because of my own stupidity. I read an article that said doing 30 minutes of jumping jacks burns more calories than 30 minutes of running. Well one night when I didn't want to train I decided to try it. What they don't tell you is that it's impossible to do jumping jacks for 30 minutes! I got to about 15 minutes and just couldn't do anymore (mind you this was about 500 jumping jacks). The next day I woke up and my calves were cramped so badly I couldn't walk! I hobbled around the house for 4 days in extreme pain and it took about 7 before I could walk normally again. So I lost a whole week of training. But hopefully we are getting back on track this week.

I want to thank Natalie, Celeste, & Kelleen for sending pledges in. I wish I could say I spent them on something fun but David's paycheck last week was calculated wrong and we didn't get as much as we usually did so I used the money to buy groceries that week. So thank you for feeding us! :-)

I hope everyone has a great week and see you next Monday!

20 lbs

2008-09-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

Well, actually 22 lbs to be exact. That's right this week I reached my first milestone, I'm a quarter of the way to my goal. This morning the scale was at 203.

Obviously I'm thrilled this week with my progress. Thank you everyone for your support during the last couple of months. I know now that with your help and love I can do anything.

I think this is a good time to call in pledges, mainly because I don't have any clothes that fit anymore! :-) When I go running I have to be very careful, otherwise my exercise pants end up around my ankles!

The poll this week wasn't that hard apparently as most of you got it right, walking only burns about 100 calories!

Love you all and have a great week. Maybe next week we can celebrate me hitting that mystical 199!

Good Week

2008-08-25T10:50:00.000-07:00

Well I had a very good week. I exercised consistently every day, got in my running and my weight lifting. And ate extremely healthy, though part of that is because I cut out wheat. You'll find if you don't eat wheat there aren't a whole lot of unhealthy foods left! I did really well on the no-gluten diet. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be and I definitely felt better and had more energy this week. But we all know my freaky body isn't super consistent, so I'm going to try it again this week but I'm not getting my hopes up that my results will be as good.

Things are getting exciting in the scale department. This morning I weighed 206 on the dot which is down 4 pounds from last week and is just one pound away from that elusive 20 pounds. Next week should be very exciting if things go well. So we're officially down 19 lbs from the start, and 24 inches!

My race is getting closer and my training is going very well. Tonight I run another practice 3 miles so I'll let you know if my time improves. Thank you Natalie for sending in your pledge! This weeks poll split evenly between 600 & 800 calories for a Super-Sized French Fry. The answer is....600! Don't forget to vote in this week’s poll! Love ya all!

Let them eat cake!

2008-08-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

I'm trying to add to my portfolio of cakes, so if anyone is interested I'm offering to make cakes for any event for just the cost of ingredients + 10% for time. Here are a few of the ones I've done in the past. I'm willing to try anything.

Wii cake

Dragon Cake

Daisy Cake

Princess Barbie Cake

Pig Cake

Training

2008-08-18T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well I am knee deep in training for my 5K and loving it! It's super hard for me to get up early to run but that's the only way to avoid the insane heat! I'm following the Couch to 5K program, which takes you from doing nothing to running a 5K in 9 weeks. I'm on week 4 and I'm already running for 16 minutes out of my 30 min routine, and up to running for 5 minute blocks at a time. I've never been a runner before so I'm really proud of my progress.

I was 210 when I weighed in this morning, which is 1 lb up from last week. But I've been doing a lot of weight lifting this week so I'm going to think of that pound as pure muscle. :) I need to thank Christy this week, she took me to see a movie as her pledge. We saw Mamma Mia and if you haven't seen it GO NOW! It is hilarious. Also thanks to my mommy. She brought me a present for each of the 5 lbs I lost. Love you Mom!

So this week, to continue the tradition of crazy experimentation, I am trying a gluten (or wheat) free diet. A lot of women with PCOS have a sensitivity to wheat and I suspect I might be one of them. So this week should be interesting. Last night I made a loaf of bread that is made from garbanzo bean flour...it was actually pretty good.

I've roped David into working out with me at night, every night before bed we do 100 crunches and 10 push-ups. David has quickly shown me up by moving on to 15 push-ups, but he still can't do as many crunches as I can. It looks like exercise edged out dieting as the most important for losing weight. This week think about how you can get a little more exercise into your life, nothing big...just baby steps! And don't forget to vote in the new poll.

Have a great week everyone.

I'm back with a new look and a fresh start!

2008-08-11T09:15:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! Well I ended up taking three weeks off instead of two, and it was just what I needed. A time to refresh my energy, clear my mind, and think about something else than losing weight! Now I am recharged and ready to go. You probably noticed I changed my blog, I want something fresh for the next leg of my journey.

I want to thank everyone who has sent in a pledge, you are all such a wonderful support for me. I also want to thank my newest pledger David Rookhuyzen! David has pledged 2 free babysitting nights once I've lost 20 lbs. That's great motivation for me, thanks David. It's not too late to pledge if you want to, I can use all the encouragement I can get.

Well the 3 weeks off did me good because in that time I hit a huge milestone for me. I am finally under 210! This morning the scale was at :

So altogether that brings me up to 16 lbs lost so far! And it brings that elusive 20 lbs a lot closer, just 4 lbs to go. I'm excited to see the scale continue to go down and my health continue to improve. I've recently taken up running and decided to enter a 5k in September. I'm busy training and this last weekend did my first practice run. I did the course (which is 3 miles) in 45 minutes. My goal is 30 mins so I have 5 weeks to improve my time. I hope everyone who is able will come cheer me on at the finish line as I complete this goal.

15 lbs lost means another pledge comes due, this time from me! I was going to get a haircut, but have decided to keep growing my hair out, so instead I will be getting highlights done.

Thank you everyone for continuing to support my efforts, the healthier I get the more likely David and I will be able to expand our family. We love you all and don't forget to vote in the poll to the right.

Cleansing

2008-07-21T08:09:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone. This week was kind of strange, the first half of the week I was very sick and the second half I decided to a cleanse. So my normal routines were very off. After a 3 day fast my weight this morning was 211. I was very excited to see the numbers go down though there is a possibility that some of that we'll come back as I slowly begin eating again. I'm working on keeping it off by easing back into my food routine. Today and tomorrow I'm only eating raw fruits and veggies, then slowly adding in nuts, dairy, and meat will be last of all. I'm really focusing on eating a whole foods diet and avoiding anything processed.

I haven't been exercising while sick or fasting so I'll be starting that up this week. I'll probably begin with some slow walks and work myself back into my routine.

I have to tell you all that after all this time I'm really getting tired of trying to lose weight. Especially since it's not working very well. I'm really starting to get burned out. So I'm offiicially taking the next 2 weeks off. I will not be weighing myself every morning or writing down everything I eat, I won't be counting calories or calculating carbs. This is not to say that I'm jumping off the wagon. I fully intend to eat healthy and exercise, I just will not be focusing on losing weight. I'd like to spend some time focusing on my spiritual life and my family.

Thanks you all for your support, I will be posting again 2 weeks from now.

A very busy week

2008-07-14T11:28:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone. This has been a very hectic week for me. We had visitors for the week (Mom and Blondie we had an awesome time!) I also started a summer day camp for about 10 children 3 times a week. We had Daisy's birthday and also my brother Erich's birthday, both of which I made cakes for, and we spoke in church yesterday. So sometime in there I had to write a talk.

With a week that hectic I was relieved to get on the scale this morning and see my old friend 215 lbs. Being an emotional eater, I was afraid the stress this week would make me fall off the wagon! But we got through. I also figured out that I made a mistake a couple weeks ago when I was figuring out my daily calorie allowance. I had accidentally written down the wrong number so I've been eating almost 800 calories fewer than I'm supposed to be! This is most likely the reason I'm not losing any weight right now, my body thinks we're starving and is hanging onto the weight as hard as possible. So this week my plan is to eat more! :) How many people get to say that?

Anyway, I'll post pictures of the cakes I made this week. Thank you everyone who prayed for me and kept me in your thoughts on Wednesday. I know that your prayers were answered for me on that very difficult day. Also thank you to those of you who called, it meant so much to me.

3 Months in Review

2008-07-08T11:53:00.000-07:00

Well I've been doing this for three months now. And as of yesterday I was 214 lbs which is 11 lbs lost total. Obviously I would have preferred to have lost more weight but I've also lost 20 inches and I think it's obvious, looking at the pictures above, that I'm getting healthier and slimmer. I've also established great habits of exercise and healthy eating that will be part of my life forever. And I'm not giving up, hopefully the next three month will be easier!

Tomorrow is Daisy's birthday. David and I will be spending some time at the temple and in the evening we will have a birthday cake and a balloon ceremony to remember our little girl.

215 lbs

2008-06-30T17:23:00.000-07:00

You know I was very excited to reach 215 lbs, but I'm starting to get very tired of seeing it on my scale. Losing 10 lbs was really nice, but it would be nice to move on to 12 or 15. I did lose 2 inches this week so at least there's that.

It was a busy week with Emma's birthday and all. We had a blast celebrating with her and I made her a very cool cake (if I say so myself). Here's a picture, and yes it is a cake!

Also I got several requests for a picture of me in my new dress, so here it is. Check out my new shoes. :)

All right. Next Wednesday is my daughter Daisy's birthday. She's the reason that I'm putting in all this effort to get healthy. She was sent to me to help me become a better person, a better wife, and a better mom. I'm dedicating this week's weight loss to her. I would appreciate everyone's thoughts and prayers as my family goes through this and next week.

Love you all.

Size 14

2008-06-23T10:46:00.000-07:00

We spent this last weekend in Flagstaff visiting some friends who were in town for a couple of days. We had a great time in the 80 degree weather! We visited Lowell Observatory, rode the ski lift at Snowbowl, and took the kids to the Flagstaff mall to play. While they were playing I wandered over to JC Penny and the dress above caught my eye. I wanted to try it on but when I looked through the rack the biggest size they had was a 14. I was upset because I'm usually a size 18, but I thought I would try it on anyway. And it fit. I am now a size 14! I've dropped 2 dress sizes along with those 10 lbs. I was so excited that I had to have the dress, and David also bought me new shoes to wear with it.

This morning the scale was back at 215. So I lost 3 lbs this week and that got me back to a total of 10 lbs lost so far. I also lost 2.5 inches this week, which brings me to a total of 17.5 inches so far. I feel really good about where I am right now, slow and steady weight loss and the inches are coming off!

Tip for the week. When you eat or drink something look at the label for the serving size. What you might think is one serving may actually me 2 or 3! Love you all!

Blah

2008-06-16T07:45:00.000-07:00

That pretty much describes this week. I was a little under the weather and pretty much just burnt out on the whole weight loss thing. I took the week off, and tried to be aware of what I was eating without obsessing about it and also didn't really exercise. So pretty much as expected I gained weight this week. Just 2 lbs so I'm not worried. I really needed a break and now I'm feeling much better about it. My new goal is to lose 10 lbs by July 9th. That's just over 3 weeks so about 3 lbs a week. That's a little high but I would really like to have lost 20 lbs by then. We'll give it our best shot. I've been taking the kids to the pool every morning so if we count that as exercise (very light exercise) I'm up to 3 hours of exercise a day! It's kind of addictive once you get used to it. My food of the week is string cheese, low win fat and high in protein! Make sure you're reading labels so you know what's in the food your eating. Love you all, have a great week!

Double Digits & Reflexology

2008-06-09T09:02:00.000-07:00

Good morning everyone! It is a good morning because today the almighty scale read 214.8, which means it's official. I'VE LOST 10 LBS! I'm into double digit weight loss and couldn't be more excited! I'm also down 2 more inches this week which puts me at 15.5 inches lost total! I was thrilled while exercising yesterday because my workout pants kept slipping down while I was kick boxing, so I think I've gone down a size. It's so amazing to watch my body change and get stronger. Poor David, he's probably tired of me asking him to feel my biceps! :)

Speaking of David, he was sweet enough to upgrade my pedicure pledge to a full hour of reflexology! (Which is massage for the hands and feet). It was wonderful and so relaxing. And speaking of pledges we've knocked out 2 more this week. Christy and I will get to go see a movie together. And Mom, it's time for that massage! Also thank you Natalie and Celeste for sending your pledges, it looks like I'll be putting them towards new exercise clothes!

I want you all to know how much I appreciate your support. It's so easy to fall off the wagon, but knowing that I get to come to you every week and tell you how I'm doing really motivates me to keep going, even when it's hard. This is the 8th week that I've been doing this and I can honestly say that I look forward each Monday to getting on and updating, (especially now that I'm losing consistently)!

Everyone have a great week and try to drink more water! Especially you Arizonans-it's getting hot!

Camping and Losing Weight

2008-06-02T11:15:00.001-07:00

I've decided that camping is a great thing to do while you're losing weight. You're eating all fresh prepared foods, with no McDonald's around the corner, you're getting plenty of sunshine and fresh air. And even if you don't go hiking or anything you are still bumping up your level of fitness by gathering wood for the fire, setting up your tent, taking your kids to gather pinecones, ect. We spent the weekend camping up on the Rim and it was beautiful! Thanks to the Rookhuyzen family I got to sleep in a heated trailer at night, enjoy the pine trees during the day, eat some really good food, and lose 2 more pounds and 2 more inches!

My new official weight is 217 which is 8 lbs total lost so far and just 2 lbs away from the 10 lb mark! I'm excited to see 217 on the scale because in the past I've tended to plateau at 219. Just think, if I keep losing weight at the 2 lb a week rate I will be under 210 in just 4 weeks and under 200 in 8! Whoa! I guess I'll have to camping a couple more times in that period. :)

I thought that this week I would introduce you all to the newest member of the Drorbaugh family. She's a girl, her name is Lucy and she is 8 and a half pounds. She's our new Beagle puppy. We've had her for about 2 weeks now and she's settling into our family great! The kids and I absolutely love her and David will like her more once I finally get her house trained.

Here's a picture of Lucy enjoying her first camping trip. I hope you all have a great week and I hope that next week we can call celebrate me saying "goodbye" to my first 10 lbs!

6 Weeks and Counting

2008-05-26T11:04:00.000-07:00

Well at the end of 6 weeks of hard work I am at 219. I lost another half pound this week and brought my total weight loss to 6 lbs. I also lost another 6 inches this week which brings me up to 12 inches lost total. I didn't expect to lose much this week, given the large loss last week. I've also been doing a lot of strength training and trying to build up my muscle base. Here's a fun fact for you, most of you know that muscle weighs more than fat, but did you know that the more muscle you have the more calories you burn when you're doing nothing at all. I'm all for that!

I bumped up my carb intake this week, I think I've been undereating slightly for how much exercise I've been doing. And I'm doing a lot of research into insulin resistant diets, which recommend a high carb (healthy carbs) and low fat diet. I'll be moving closer to getting refined sugar out and more fruits in.

Since it's been 6 weeks since we all started I think this might be a good time for an offcial tally.. For those of you who pledged by the pound we are going with an official 6 lbs lost. I think I'll be getting a massage with the pledges so far. :) I sure could use it with all this weight lifting. I hope you enjoy the new pics and can see the difference, I can sure feel it!

WOO-HOO

2008-05-19T09:03:00.000-07:00

Half the time I don't understand what's going on with my crazy body and this was definitely one of those weeks! However, this time it was working for me instead of against me. Yes, that's right--I lost weight this week. Not only did I lose weight but I lost 5 lbs! I took a picture of the scale so everyone could share in my joy at being under 220!

As you can see I am 219.5 this week (I round to the nearest half pound to make calculation more easy). Which means I have lost 5.5 lbs total and I've also reached my first goal! I will be collecting a pedicure from David this week!

Why the dramatic difference? I can't be sure but I did make some changes this week. I changed up my exercise routine (thank you Lindsay for this tip). Instead of my exercise bike I took the kids for a ride in our bike trailer. If you've never pulled 80 lbs of kids behind a bike in a stiff wind...that's the way to burn calories! I also switched from 5 to 8 lb weights for my nightly lifting. As far as food is concerned I cut down on the amount of refined sugar I've been eating and upped my protein intake. I think it worked. :)

I'm so excited to see results. The cherry on top is that I also lost 6 inches this week! Including more than 1 inch off each thigh! I just bought a new exercise DVD called Turbo Jam so I'll be working that into my routine this week. Eating healthy and loving life. Here's to never being 220 again!

10 Things I Love About My Body

2008-05-12T07:38:00.000-07:00

1. Smelling the Daisies David brought me this week.
2. Kisses
3. Hearing Emma sing the mother's day song in Sacrament.
4. My hands
5. My neck
6. How it heals itself every time I cut myself with a knife.
7. Being able to see my beautiful children.
8. That achy feeling in my muscles after I lift weights.
9. Tasting new foods for the first time.
10. My eyes.

1 thing I hate about my body. It's inability to lose weight no matter what I do. After a perfect week of eating healthy and exercising over an hour each day this morning the scale showed a pound and a half gain. That's right, after a month of trying so hard my weight is 224.5! Bringing my weight loss for the month to half a pound.

I don't think I need to tell you how upset and discouraged I am. I don't know how I could be trying any harder than I am now. I started this with such high hopes 4 weeks ago and it's hard now to feel that the hour and a half I log on my bike everyday isn't just a waste of time.

I'll be adding a daily food log to the right hand side of the page, so you all can see what I'm eating. I guess in a way I feel the need to prove to everyone that I really am trying. I don't know if I'll ever lose this weight, and I don't know if I'll ever get pregnant again. What I do know is that I tried my hardest. I'm eating healthy and I'm exercising.

What else can I do?

Car Trip + Tired Kids = Emotional Eating

2008-05-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

There's nothing to describe the experience of being in a car with 2 small children for 13 hours. It would drive any one to drink..or in my case to a box of oatmeal creme pies. Which I might point out I don't even like! I've always been an emotional eater and it's more then choosing to eat something bad or to eat something good. How many times have you seen an overweight person at a fast food restaurant and thought something like this, "If they didn't eat so many french fries, they wouldn't be so fat!" If losing weight was as simple as choosing to eat one food over another don't you think everyone would be thin? Who would choose to stay in a situation that makes them so unhappy? It's true that the basic science of weight loss is burning more calories then you eat, but the reality is much more complicated.

Emotional eaters eat to make themselves feel better about something, which in turn makes them feel guilty about their weight and self-control, which in turn drives them to eat more so they can feel better. The key to breaking this cycle for me is to find something that will make me feel better without turning to food. A lot of people will use exercise for this but I place exercise more in the "necessary evil" category then in the "reward" section. Any ideas? What do you do when you are upset to make yourself feel better?

Well, I didn't do great in Utah. But I didn't do badly either. I was at 223 this morning which is up 1 pound from last week. But thinking about all the junk I ate yesterday on the way home I'm just happy it wasn't more. I'm thrilled to be home and back to my routine. Back with my exercise bike and my kitchen where I feel more in control. I'm not beating myself up about the mistakes of yesterday but instead am recommitting myself to this week's effort. I thankful for all of you who are following my progress and really appreciate your support.

Why I hate PCOS...

2008-04-28T10:01:00.001-07:00

Well, from the title you probably guessed that this week did not go as well as last week. I did lose half a pound bringing my weight to 222, and my weight loss to 3 lbs. But it's definitely not the results I would have preferred. This is why I've had so many problems in the past with losing weight. It's so discouraging to eat well and exercise all week long and not see results on the scale.

PCOS can effect your metabolism and also make you insulin resistant. It can effect the way your body handles the sugar and fat you eat. Not much is known yet about this process and doctors don't have much advice yet on the best way to solve this problem. I've been doing a lot of research on the issue because I want to make sure my diet is as healthy as possible while still allowing me to lose weight. There's some evidence that a low-carb diet similar to a diabetic's diet will help women with PCOS. So I might be changing how I eat (again) in the near future.

This is the point where I try to remember that a healthy lifestyle is about more than losing weight. The exercise and healthy food is still helping me even if the scale didn't budge. That's my mantra for this week.

Special challenge for this week: I'm in Utah on vacation which usually means eating out a lot. So my goal is to eat at home as much as possible. (Special thanks to Celeste who will be cooking dinners for us this week). And when I do eat out to make healthy choices and control my portion sizes. I'm 3 lbs lighter then I was when I started! That's something to celebrate!

The First Lap!

2008-04-21T10:51:00.000-07:00

Well I have made it around the track. One week of exercise and healthy eating and I'm happy to report success! I lost 2.5 lbs this week which puts me at 222.5 lbs. I had a panic attack last night thinking about what would happen if I hadn't lost weight, or worse gained some! When I came up with this idea I didn't think about the public humiliation that would follow a bad week! I guess that's just the motivation I need to keep me working hard.

Weight loss is silly. I swear it was pretty easy to put on the weight, so why is it so hard to take it off? Did you know it takes 3500 calories to gain a pound? So in reverse it takes 3500 calories not eaten or burned to lose a pound. That's a lot of calories. I decided I want to burn 3500 calories a week in exercise which is 700 calories a day (Mon-Fri). I didn't think it would be a big deal until I jumped on my exercise bike and started pedaling away. 45 mins later I had only burned 350! Sheesh! So now I'm doing 2 stints a day on my bike...one in the morning and one in the afternoon. Together these burn the 700 calories I need. I've already shaved 5 minutes off my time.

I know I said I'd post a picture each week but honestly it was kind of depressing studying this week's photo and last weeks and deciding that those two pounds apparently came off my feet! So we'll do pictures every 2 weeks or so.

My food of the week is dill pickles! They are 0 points on Weight Watchers, and they satisfy my salty food craving. Thanks to everyone for the support! I love you all. One lap down...23 to go!

The Starting Line

2008-04-14T23:23:00.000-07:00

The race is on. My starting weight is 225 and my goal weight is 150. 75 lbs to lose. For the first time starting a weight loss plan I feel hope along with my enthusiasm. I feel humbled by the outpouring of love and support from my family and friends. Not wanting to disappoint all of you is the best motivation I can think of. Thank you to everyone who has pledged and those who've sent me encouragement and advice. Please keep it coming! I'll need all the help I can get over the next few months. Anyone who is still interested in pledging please feel free to email me or post here. Here are my very first pictures! They will also be my "before" pictures at the end of the journey.

My weight loss plan is three-fold: Nutrition, Exercise, & Sleep. As far as nutrition goes I will be following the Weight Watchers Food Plan, I will also be carefully controlling my portion sizes, eating less processed foods, and taking a daily multivitamin. Exercise will involve my brand new exercise bike (I love craigslist!) and my free weights. With a little sliding, swinging, and pretending to be a tiger with my kids. And finally I've always had a problem sleeping which has led to a lot of late eating, so I will be working on keeping a nightly bedtime and shooting for 8 hours of sleep.

Well, what do you think? Opinions, advice, and encouragement is very much welcomed!

Welcome to my journey!

2008-04-07T09:39:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone! Thank you for taking the time to visit. I am about to set off on a journey and I need everyone's help. Many of you will know that in July of last year David and I miscarried our daughter Daisy Grace at 17 weeks. Many of you don't know that following that I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism. Then after trying to get pregnant for several months I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). Because of these 2 conditions we have been unable to conceive again. I've been put on medication to help but it does not seem to be working yet. My doctor tells me that the best thing I can do to get pregnant again is to lose weight.

Unfortunately both of these disorders make it very difficult to lose weight. Many attempts in the past have failed. But this time the stakes are much higher and so I'm reaching out to all of you to help. I know that with the support, advice, and love of all my friends and family that I can reach my goal.

I'm going to try a new weight loss method called "Sponsor my weight loss" in which family members and friends come together to encourage, motivate, and yes even use bribes to help with weight loss. I will be starting on Monday, April 14. I will weigh myself every monday morning and post my weight loss and a picture for everyone to see.

How can you help? By being a sponsor. There are several ways to do this.
1. You can pick a set dollar amount per pound...for example you can pledge $1 for every pound lost and at the end of 4 weeks I will let you know what the total is. Any amount is welcome whether it is ten dollars or 10 cents.
2. Or you can pick a 5 lb block (lost 5,10,15 lbs) and pledge a reward for reaching that weight. This can be anything you want it to be (as long as it is not food!) like a new outfit, a movie, an exercise DVD or equipment, pedicures, ect. Anything you can think of.
3. You can pledge a service, for example, cleaning, babysitting, cooking, ect.
4. Finally you can give me your love and encouragement, your ideas and recipes, your support and your prayers. Cheer me on. Check my blog often and let me know you are supporting me in this effort.

If you have an idea that is not posted above that's great! Let me know how you want to help. I'm excited about sharing this goal with all of you and know that our combined strength can move mountains. Or even help me lose 80 lbs.

Check back Monday April 14th for my starting weight!

Amy