Saturday, July 4, 2009

The Finish Line

So, obviously I have been neglecting this blog the last couple of months. I haven't really been able to focus on weight loss lately. In fact this will be my last post on this blog. I've accomplished most of the goals that I had when I started this blog over a year and a half ago and it's time to move on to new goals.

Thank you everyone for all the support you've given me through this journey. My final weight loss total was 40 lbs and I couldn't have done it without your help.

To see the reason I can no longer focus on weight loss make sure to head over to my family blog.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Ode to me?

Exactly one year ago I started out on this journey. To lose weight, to get healthy, to do better. Now, an entire year later, I am not where I thought I would be. Originally last April I thought that I could lose all 80 pounds by October. :-) Well, obviously that didn't happen. But let's talk about what did happen.

I lost 35 lbs.
I've kept it off for months. Through holidays, birthdays, and special events.
I've lost over 2 feet in inches.
I've run a 5K.
I've droppped 6 pants sizes.
I've made being healthy a way of life...not just a diet.
I've moved up from my 3 lbs weights to lifting with 10 lb weights.

And it's all thanks to you. Without your support and accountability you provided I never would have gotten this far. It would have been so easy to give up if I didn't have to report back to you guys each Monday. Now, I'm not where I want to be quite yet, but I ma enjoying where I am for once. If I could lose another 35 lbs this year I would be thrilled. Thank you everyone for your support. I hope we'll all be healthier in 2009 than we were in 2008.

This is my starting picture one year ago and the other is a picture of me taken after my run this morning.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Enough is enough!

Fat Woman Pictures, Images and Photos

So after another hospital trip I am now up to 198! Sheesh, after dinner lat night I even saw the dreaded 200 on the scale. On top of that I feel tired and awful again, which I know comes from eating sugar, wheat, and dairy. How do you get to the point where emergencies in your life aren't an excuse to overeat? Cause I'm having way too many such situations to pull it off with out exploding like a blimp.

Anyway, today is devoted to reattaching my nose to the grindstone. I started weightlifting again this morning and tomorrow I'm going to start running again. Also I'm back on the protein shakes and trying to bulk up on fruits and veggies for some natural energy. I think I'm going to set my sights on running a 10K in the next couple of months. I have a vague inclination to maybe think about possibly considering training to run a marathon.

So my goal for this week is to lose three pounds. GRRRR, I hate having to re-lose weight I've already lost. Oh well, live and learn, right?

Monday, March 23, 2009

More exciting?

Well when I posted two weeks ago I was wishing for a more exciting posts, and then I had two crazy weeks. For complete details on that check my family blog. Because of the craziness, the not sleeping, and really bad hospital food I am back up to 195 this week. :-( Blah. I'm hoping since the weight was recent and just the result of stress and a weird eating schedule it will come off again quickly. So back on the wagon today.

Good news though, I had my doctor's appt last week and although I had gained weight I had actually lost 2 lbs of fat and gained 5 lbs of muscles. So my total body fat % is down to 33%. So a little sunshine in the forecast. I'm leaving for Utah in 4 weeks and want to lose 10 lbs before I go.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Blah Blah Blah

I could copy and paste any of my posts for the last month this week. I didn't lose any weight, I'm still exercising, I like my weight lifting program. Blah blah blah. I go into see my doctor on Thursday and I haven't lost any weight since our last appointment so I'm going to ask him to adjust my meal plan. And I'm going to do a 3 day cleanse today to see if I can shake things up a little bit. Check back in next week for a hopefully more exciting post.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Misery loves company

So today is day 9 of my 30 day weight training program and I'm really loving the program so far. I alternate arms and legs every other day and do a little ab work every day and take Sunday off to recover. I've already had to increase the weights I'm working with on a couple of exercises and pretty soon I'm going to need to go buy heavier weights. No weight loss this week, but that wasn't unexpected due to some stress and a lot of emotional eating. But I exercised every day and I'm proud of that. I've set a short-term goal of being on my meal plans every day in March, along with exercising ever day (excluding Sunday). We're going to Utah at the end of April for Women's Conference and I would like to be 10-15 lbs lighter by then.

The best news is that David asked if we could get up a little early and start lifting weights together before he goes to work! So now we're doing the program together. We started this morning and I'm sure he'll start feeling those squats pretty quick! Hopefully next week we'll both have some weight loss to show for it.

Monday, February 23, 2009


So obviously I haven't been very good about posting the last couple of weeks. David always says that one of the things he loves most about me is how I can get really passionate about a subject. The problem is I can typically be really excited about only one thing at a time. And the last 6 weeks it has NOT been weight loss, it's been trying to get pregnant. (Which, by the way, you think would be a whole lot easier, and more fun, than trying to lose weight. But alas, such is not the case with me). Anyway, I keep setting myself up for disappointment and heartache in that department so I decided it's time to rekindle some of the weight loss passion. I haven't lost any weight in the last 6 weeks. The good news is I haven't gained any either, but been able to maintain my weight with little to no dieting and no exercise. I'm pretty proud of that.

So today I am starting a new weight lifting program. It's a 30 day program, lifting weights 6 days a week. Since strength training seems to help me lose weight the easiest I have hopes that I can lose 8-10 lbs this month. Crossing my fingers. So, back to protein shakes and grilled chicken for me.

Because so many of you have asked me for, and because I'm pretty tired about blogging about myself all the time, I have set up a family blog. Here's the link to it.

I got carried away with family pics and posted 4 times this morning. SO if you want to keep scrolling after the first post there are some fun pics towards the bottom. Love you all! Have a great week!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Pay it forward!

I saw this on a blog from a friend in my Tempe ward. I love the idea!

Here's how it works-the first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive, at some point during the year, a handmade gift from me.

What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise! The catch is that you must participate as well-before you leave your comment here, write up a pay it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going. (Or you can cut and paste from this one like I did)

Then come back, let me know you're going to play, and sit back and wait to receive your fun gift!! Remember that only the first 3 comments will receive a gift from me, so hurry, hurry, hurry!

Monday, February 9, 2009

Plateau Land

Well I'm still hovering around 189. I've totally fallen off the exercise wagon because I've been so exhausted lately! I'm trying to stick to my diet but often find myself just trying to "eat healthy" rather than follow the plan. Which I guess is better than nothing. Anyway, I have another appointment with my weight loss doctor on Thursday so I guess I'll just have to go an be embarrassed about not losing any weight this month. Oh well. At least I didn't gain! My size 14 jeans are starting to feel a little loose and I'm wondering if I might be able to wear a size 12. But I think I'll give it a few more pounds before I try.

I hope everyone has a Happy Valentines day. David and I will be celebrating our 7th anniversary on Sunday. Sometimes I feel like my marriage is the only thing in my life that is never a trial. I love you for that David. You're still my hero.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


I found this on my miscarriage board and it was so perfect in explaining how a woman who miscarries feels. Everyone needs to read this in in case someone around you experiences a loss. Sorry, it's very long.

"When women experience the loss of a child, one of the first things they discover they have in common is a list of things they wish no one had ever said to them. The lists tend to be remarkably similar. The comments are rarely malicious - just misguided attempts to soothe.

This list was compiled as a way of helping other people understand pregnancy loss. While generated by mothers for mothers, it may also apply similarly to the fathers who have endured this loss.
When trying to help a woman who has lost a baby, the best rule of thumb is a matter of manners: don't offer your personal opinion of her life, her choices, her prospects for children. No woman is looking to poll her acquaintances for their opinions on why it happened or how she should cope.

-Don't say, "It's God's Will." Even if we are members of the same congregation, unless you are a cleric and I am seeking your spiritual counseling, please don't presume to tell me what God wants for me. Besides, many terrible things are God's Will, that doesn't make them less terrible.

-Don't say, "It was for the best - there was probably something wrong with your baby." The fact that something was wrong with the baby is what is making me so sad. My poor baby never had a chance. Please don't try to comfort me by pointing that out.

-Don't say, "You can always have another one." This baby was never disposable. If had been given the choice between loosing this child or stabbing my eye out with a fork, I would have said, "Where's the fork?" I would have died for this baby, just as you would die for your children.

-Don't say, "Be grateful for the children you have." If your mother died in a terrible wreck and you grieved, would that make you less grateful to have your father?

-Don't say, "Thank God you lost the baby before you really loved it." I loved my son or daughter. Whether I lost the baby after two weeks of pregnancy or just after birth, I loved him or her.

-Don't say, "Isn't it time you got over this and moved on?" It's not something I enjoy, being grief-stricken. I wish it had never happened. But it did and it's a part of me forever. The grief will ease on its own timeline, not mine - or yours.

-Don't say, "Now you have an angel watching over you." I didn't want her to be my angel. I wanted her to bury me in my old age.

-Don't say, "I understand how you feel." Unless you've lost a child, you really don't understand how I feel. And even if you have lost a child, everyone experiences grief differently.

-Don't tell me horror stories of your neighbor or cousin or mother who had it worse. The last thing I need to hear right now is that it is possible to have this happen six times, or that I could carry until two days before my due-date and labor 20 hours for a dead baby. These stories frighten and horrify me and leave me up at night weeping in despair. Even if they have a happy ending, do not share these stories with me.

-Don't pretend it didn't happen and don't change the subject when I bring it up. If I say, "Before the baby died..." or "when I was pregnant..." don't get scared. If I'm talking about it, it means I want to. Let me. Pretending it didn't happen will only make me feel utterly alone.

- Don't say, "It's not your fault." It may not have been my fault, but it was my responsibility and I failed. The fact that I never stood a chance of succeeding only makes me feel worse. This tiny little being depended upon me to bring him safely into the world and I couldn't do it. I was supposed to care for him for a lifetime, but I couldn't even give him a childhood. I am so angry at my body you just can't imagine.

-Don't say, "Well, you weren't too sure about this baby, anyway." I already feel so guilty about ever having complained about morning sickness, or a child I wasn't prepared for, or another mouth to feed that we couldn't afford. I already fear that this baby died because I didn't take the vitamins, or drank too much coffee, or had alcohol in the first few weeks when I didn't know I was pregnant. I hate myself for any minute that I had reservations about this baby. Being unsure of my pregnancy isn't the same as wanting my child to die - I never would have chosen for this to happen.

-Do say, "I am so sorry." That's enough. You don't need to be eloquent. Say it and mean it and it will matter.

-Do say, "You're going to be wonderful parents some day," or "You're wonderful parents and that baby was lucky to have you." We both need to hear that.

-Do say, "I have lighted a candle for your baby," or "I have said a prayer for your baby." Do send flowers or a kind note - every one I receive makes me feel as though my baby was loved. Don't resent it if I don't respond. Don't call more than once and don't be angry if the machine is on and I don't return your call. If we're close friends and I am not responding to your attempts to help me, please don't resent that, either. Help me by not needing anything from me for a while. If you're my boss or my co-worker:

-Do recognize that I have suffered a death in my family - not a medical condition.

-Do recognize that in addition to the physical aftereffects I may experience, I'm going to be grieving for quite some time. Please treat me as you would any person who has endured the tragic death of a loved one - I need time and space.

DO understand if I do not attend baby showers/christening/birthday parties etc. And DON'T ask why I can't come.

Please don't bring your baby or toddler into the workplace. If your niece is pregnant, or your daughter just had a baby, please don't share that with me right now. It's not that I can't be happy for anyone else, it's that every smiling, cooing baby, every glowing new mother makes me ache so deep in my heart I can barely stand it. I may look okay to you, but there's a good chance that I'm still crying every day. It may be weeks before I can go a whole hour without thinking about it. You'll know when I'm ready - I'll be the one to say, "Did your daughter have her baby?" or, "How is that precious little boy of yours? I haven't seen him around the office in a while."

Above all, please remember that this is the worst thing that ever happened to me. The word "miscarriage" is small and easy. But my baby's death is monolithic and awful. It's going to take me a while to figure out how to live with it. Bear with me."

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A couple days ago we hiked A Mountain in Tempe and when I downloaded I found a full-length picture of me that will work as a progress picture. Here it is, look you can actually see muscle in my calves!

Monday, January 26, 2009

A Very Merry Birthday

Today is my birthday. I'm 27 years old today. It feels pretty good. I'm giving myself lots of birthday presents this year. The gift of loving myself as much as I love others. The gift of thinking about me once and a while. The gift of letting go of the guilt. The gift of enjoying my children more than I ever have before. The gift of being happy with what I've accomplished and not disappointed that I haven't done more.

I haven't weighed myself this morning but I've been pretty stable all week long. I don't think I lost weight but that's not surprising after the big loss last week. I'm sorry I haven't got a new picture of me up yet. I never remember when David is here and it's kind of hard to take it by myself. I'll work on that this week.

Love you all! Have a great week.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Dr. Appt

I had my third appointment with my weight loss specialist this week. And the official weigh in was 189.

Woo-hoo! 180's on my scale. At least for one day, then I got sick and couldn't stomach my shakes or exercise for 3 days. So I put a couple of those pounds back on. But they're mostly water weight which should come off today now that I'm back on my program. The fact is the last time I weighed 190 was when I got pregnant with Emma, nearly 7 years ago. So that's 36 lbs lost and we're cruising up on 40 lbs! What a nice birthday present that would be. Yep, that's right my birthday is a week from today and I will be 27. My birthday present to myself is not having to spend another birthday over 200 lbs. Have a great week everyone and I promise I'll post a new picture this week.

And finally...

GO CARDINALS! Superbowl here we come! My dad told me that if you had bet $20 at the beginning of the season that the Cardinals would be in the Superbowl you would be collection $200,000 today. Crazy, huh?

Monday, January 12, 2009

I'm Back....Finally!

Hey everyone, I'm back! Sorry about the long silence but I was enjoying my Christmas break without much thought ot losing weight. Which was a very nice break. But now it's a new year, the season of weight loss goals. For one month I'm not the only person obsessed with weight loss, I'm one of millions! Are you one of them? Let me tell you a couple things I've learned.

Losing weight is a decision you make in your mind. It's a series of small choices that add up. It's one part science and one part perseverance. It's one of the slowest things I've ever done in my life! It's a lifestyle not a temporary fix. If you start a diet thinking "I'll do this until I lose 10 lbs and then I'll stop." You will be losing those 10 lbs over and over again for the rest of your life, and watching your weight slowly go up. (Or not so slowly). Being healthy is a lifetime commitment. A lifetime of playing with your kids, or grandkids, of taking long walks with your special someone, a lifetime of time to do what you want. Healthy is something different for all of us, many of us (me included) are dealing with medical issues that prevent us from being as healthy as we want to be. Sometimes it's hard to look down the road and see a lifetime painted with doctor's appointments, medications, and symptoms that won't go away. I've learned to enjoy the small things about my body and not focus on what it won't do. I appreciate legs that are strong enough to walk, and arms that can pick up my children. This is the only life I'm going to get and I don't want to spend it angry at the hand I've been dealt.

Enough psycho-babble! I'm down to 193! Yea! I've lost 32 lbs thus far and am hoping to see 189 on my scale in the near future. I weight 190 when I got pregnant with Emma almost 7 years ago! I see my doctor on Thursday so I'm eager to see what my body fat percentage is this month. I've been weight lifting on a regular basis and using my Wii Fit at night for some aerobic exercise. And just one more thing before I go....